Fuck that Floral Shit. Smol!Thorin (he’s too big to be teeny tiny) was totally down for a bath until Bilbo pulled out some floral (lavender) scented soap. DWARVES DO NOT SMELL LIKE FLOWERS! WEED-EATING ELVES SMELL LIKE FLOWERS! Get that weed-eater pit scrubber away from Thorin! Just bring him a rock from the garden and he can take it from there!

Bilbo: Don’t you want to smell nice, Thorin?

Thorin: Never once in my life have I thought flowers smell ‘nice’.

Bilbo: Come on, now. This is the only bathing soap I have and you must use soap to get clean!

Thorin: How about I eat that rotted bar of flower compost and crap something nice for you to smell?

Bilbo: OH!! That DOES it. You’re not getting your clothes back until you properly scrub with soap!

Thorin: I WOULD RATHER MARCH NAKED THROUGH HOBBITON THAN SMELL OF FLOWERS!

Bilbo: THAT CAN BE ARRANGED, YOUR MAJESTY!

Ahem. So I’ve been on vacation and that means art! And… cussing. Apparently. Look, things get pretty heated around bath time. Some people want other people to smell like flowers. And other people would RATHER DIE FIRST!